Late-Night Hosts Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

Television's prominent entertainers spent their evening mocking ex-President Donald Trump's newly unveiled immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a obvious cash-for-residency arrangement for the rich.

The Late Show's Witty Analysis

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday jingle targeting the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... destroys everything he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial initiative which allows foreign individuals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of $1 million dollars, or "premium" tier for $5 million. A government portal pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One note here to affluent immigrants: prior to you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the scheme is also intended to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, requiring significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – provided that it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The most thorough background check the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"It might be time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Struggles

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging approval numbers amid economic concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, and reacted oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative news arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he laughed.